True tales from one very opinionated barnyard

Why I Finally Decided to Write a Blog

For years people have told me, “You should write this stuff down,” or, “You need to put this on the internet. It’s too funny not to share.” I always laughed it off until I realized they were right.

So here we are. Welcome to my little corner of the web, straight from the barn, the pasture, and occasionally the kitchen floor where I am currently wiping up whatever mischief just happened.

The real reason I’m doing this is simple. The animals. These creatures are overflowing with personality. Every single day something ridiculous, heart-melting, or downright absurd happens. I finally decided the world needs to know that farm life isn’t just mud and early mornings. It is comedy gold wrapped in fur, feathers, and the occasional hoof to the shin.

Bernie the cow thinks he is a dog and greets every visitor like they owe him treats. Earl and Boots, two of our five roosters, insist on crowing at 3 a.m. because they are convinced the moon is late for work. The goat pyramid forms any time I walk outside with a snack. Population: all of them. Instantly.

And then there is Levi, our resident escape artist, who learned how to break out of the pasture just to come find me. We have cut down stumps, removed turkey and guinea roosts, and blocked off anything remotely climbable. Somehow he still manages to parkour his way to freedom. It is a whole thing.

These daily antics make me laugh until I cry, or sometimes just cry from exhaustion, so I figured maybe they could brighten someone else’s day too.

But it is more than entertainment. I want to show what farm life actually looks like. The messy, joyful, chaotic, love-filled reality of it. Somewhere along the way a lot of us learned to see farm animals as “livestock.” Out here, they are family. They have opinions. They hold grudges. They celebrate birthdays, even when I forget. They have taught me more about patience, humor, and unconditional love than any self-help book ever could.

This blog is my invitation to you. Step past the pretty filtered photos and into the mudroom, where the boots are lined up and someone is definitely yelling about escaped turkeys and guineas again.

If you have ever wondered what chickens sound like when they argue, why llamas spit with pinpoint accuracy, or how one miniature cow can look permanently disappointed in your life choices, stick around. There is always room for one more in the hay-covered peanut gallery.

Thanks for stopping by the farm. Grab a sweet tea, watch out for the chicken poop in the rocking chair, and let’s laugh about whatever shenanigans today brings.

- Emilee
Proud human servant to a very opinionated barnyard crew